Identity Photoshoot 2: Final
In comparison with my first set of identity portraits, where I used severe contrast, saturated colors, and fiercely clashing elements to present a “juxtaposition” of grief and euphoria, I wanted to express a quieter sort of sadness in this set. As you’ll see, not only is this photo set taken in our study (not a photo studio), but it also includes very daily and common items as “props”—the reading lamp is the only light source present, the desk is scattered with stationery, etc. As a result, the photos show exactly what I hoped they would show: the rare scene of complete normality, with everything just as it would have been had a photographer not been present. Indeed, the only “drama” that you could detect is the contrast between darkness and light, as the lamp provides a shaft of light on just one side of the model’s features. Consequentially, even when basking in the warm light, the model does not seem simply, one-sidedly content; instead, there is a side left to the unknown—unknown fears, unexpressed grievances, and untold stories.
Explaining why I chose to photograph my mom in particular might explain this concept further. Being a daughter, a wife, and a mom has not been an easy task for my mom, and indeed it is no easy task for any person in this world. However, she somehow manages to stay strong and loving, tough and gentle; she maintains the careful balancing act of being herself and being what—unfortunately—our society still expects of her. She is, in a way, the source of warm light in our family, for she gives each of us the love and care that we need, and spreads her smiles and kindness through our home. But undoubtedly, there are suppressed emotions that come from maintaining the precarious balancing act—and that is the creeping darkness.
If you go back to my first inspiration posts for this project (Post 4), where I detailed the Euphoria aesthetic, you will see that one of the images I took inspiration from was of the main character, standing with her side profile to the camera so that warm light is pouring onto her face whilst her back is submerged in darkness. I explained how this contrast in light, as well as this rare usage of warm lights (since Euphoria primarily utilizes blue and purple lights), shows a kind of bittersweetness. In the portrait, the character balances her past of pain and anguish with her present state of release and—though perhaps temporary—relief. I wanted to use the same sort of contrast and balance in the following set of photos.
1. Seen
Techniques used:
- Only light source is the lamplight, lighting one side of her face and leaving the other side heavily submerged in darkness.
- Contrast between blue of the couch and yellow of the lighting; a bit of unsureness and anxiety peeking out form the warmth and comfort.
- A piece of sheer, white-shaded, Chiffon-like fabric was put over the bottom half of the frame, so that there appears to be a slight blur on the bottom and there is the illusion of movement where, actually, everything is still.
- The camera is held slightly above the model’s head, so as to give the frame a better sense of perspective, emphasize the borders between light and dark on her face, and create an almost regal air.
2. Withheld
Techniques used:
- Only light source is the lamplight, lighting one side of her face and leaving the other side slightly submerged in darkness. This time, the light is on the other side, and there are less shadows.
- It is almost as if the model is looking down because of the brightness of the light; a feeling of avoidance and escape.
- The camera is held a significant distance away from the top of the model’s head; this gives off a feeling of what could be called surveillance, suppression, and “patronization”.
- The frame is not completely righted, so you can see that the edges of the table are not aligned parallel with the edges of the picture; feeling of doubt and anxiety.
- Three important corners of focus: the messy table top, the model, and the almost-blank lower-left corner; makes the composition more balanced as well as complex.
3. Thought
Techniques used:
- Only light source is the lamplight, but this time it lights up her whole face, as if symbolizing that she has completely entered a state of what seems to be “happiness and contentment”; however, it just means that the grief has been taken and stowed away, and all that is left to be seen by the observer is the superficial, bubbling warmth.
- The only time a cool light enters the frame (although it doesn’t contribute to lighting the model’s features). Being placed in the background, it creates a deep sense of fear, as if the price of hiding away those negative emotions is being vulnerable to a cold, sucking pit.
- Books and the table top block our view partially; they are blurred and out-of-focus, at the forefront of the camera lens. Symbolizes using other objects/emotions to cover up grief, but also focuses our attention on the model by creating a “zooming in” kind of effect.
- Camera is tilted upwards at the model, suggesting that this is almost like a conversation or exchange held in confidence, and no one else knows about the pain she has stashed away.