On the surface, this is a fun project I performed with my brother, however, the message goes way deeper than just a few photos of a person’s face. The white wall behind his face symbolizes innocence. He lives in protection and innocence, where the world is full of joy. He lives in a wall of white lies. But who knows what lurks behind these pale white walls?

*     *     *

Innocence. An adjective to describe someone with a pure heart is often used on children. I was once an innocent child. Energetic, adventurous, whatever it was, I never seemed to be sad. My unlimited energy made everything I touch come to life. That was the purest form of innocence. Life was simple, easy, perhaps too easy. I didn’t see the wickedness that lies in this world, the monstrous social norms, and the malicious nature of humans. All I ever cared for were Legos. But that innocent child is long gone from who I am today.

It wasn’t until middle school that I suddenly felt feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and unspeakable emotions I had never felt before. 

I was feeling sad. 

Such an unfamiliar feeling. 

The innocence in my heart was diminishing. Slowly devoured by the vicious world. People say, “It’s just part of growing up.” But is it really “just part of growing up”, or is it the revolting society that scars us?  The immense social pressure of “looking good” and “having good grades” confined me. It was the first time I felt pressured by school and “scared” of school. I became this tiny, quiet, insecure boy who collapsed to society, who failed to find his identity. So, he shut his mouth and did all the talking in his head. All this tiny, quiet, insecure boy was taught was to be kind and work hard at school. He is taught how to survive but not how to live. He is taught basic math equations and history that guide him to survival. But how does that teach him how to live? Look at him. He is clueless about his goals in life. He is lost, trapped in his head all day. God knows what he is thinking. 

Why is the sky blue? Why is grass green? Questions I used to ask myself have now become a hurdle that I cannot get across. Overthinking about everything prevents me from prospering academically. The very thing that shaped me into who I am today has now become my biggest enemy. Maybe I did not want to find out. Maybe it was better for me to stay as an innocent child, be that energetic, adventurous boy who lived under a pale white wall of pale white lies where people told him that he looked good, he was smart, and he was good enough. The saddest part? He really believed them. 

The innocent boy dove blindly into a judgmental world that never wanted him. 

Maybe he needs to sit back down before that pale white background, stare at the pale white wall, and live under the pale white lies. Become that innocent child that he once was. Energetic, adventurous, whatever it was, he never seemed to be sad. 

“Oh, he’s back on that stupid chair.”

“God knows what he’s thinking again.”

I experimented with different angles and framing.

Low angle

It emphasizes the fierce contrast between the subject and the background and shows the hidden shadows beneath his cheeks.

High angle

It focuses on the lights on the subject and gives a sneak peek of the shadows lurking behind.

Portraits

It zooms in on the facial expressions and the details on the face. The color contrast in the background helps elevate the subject.

Negative space

The subject is not in the dead center of the frame. Rather, it touches upon one side of the frame, leaving out negative space on the other side. It highlights the size contrast between the two.

I experimented with adjusting the spotlights to different angles. Some were to highlight the subject’s face, while others were to enhance the shadows.

Spotlight on the side

I put the spotlight on the side to highlight the subject’s face and create shadows in the background. The contrast between the light and shadow balances out the tone in the photo.

Spotlight from two sides

I put the spotlight on both sides of the subject to emphasize a wing-like shadow on the subject’s back.

Dim lights

I turned the main lights off and used a torch light to create a smoother light source.

Before

I experimented with photographing my brother, and it was a disaster at first. He was uncooperative and refused to take photos. The ones he agreed on showed a numb and unnatural expression on his face.

After 

I overcame this by showing him funny videos. So, instead of staring awkwardly into the camera, he becomes animated with his real, authentic reactions. Exactly what I needed.

The photo features a boy sitting at a desk, looking blankly away from the camera. The photo’s clever use of negative space and color contrast elevates the subject forward, which are techniques that make this an attractive photo. The negative space in the photo portrays a contrast between the subject and his environment. The upper part of the photo takes up more space than the bottom to create a contrast that makes the photo intriguing to the eyes. If the photo was cut in half, it would feel too “square”, therefore, bland. The contrast between black and white also emphasizes the photo’s attractiveness. Although there are only two colors, it splits the photo into unequal slices which contrasts with each other. It makes the photo intriguing.

The title of my set of photos will be called “Pale White Lies”

I will photograph my brother to portray the changes in everyone and the loss of innocence as we grow. On the surface, my photos will be boring portraits of a kid, but I want my viewers to see beyond what is there. I will use a white background and portrait shots to highlight his authentic facial expressions to show pure forms of innocence.

I found out that there are around 60,000 miles of blood vessels in an adult’s body. That is two and a half times the length of the earth. Now, looking around me, I realize that there are 8 billion uniquely shaped bodies that are fueled by 60,000 miles of hardworking blood vessels. Every one of us is built for a purpose. 

Yellow: Best 20

Green: Best 6

Red: Best 3

Photo one: Be Yourself

I asked my friend WeiWei to model for my photo, and without further instructions, he stood in a pile of bikes, looking away from the camera. From that one subconscious move, he portrayed the insecure and indecisive nature of teenagers nowadays. The immense pressure to achieve good grades, look good, and be polite confines teenagers into a trap of insecurity. WeiWei standing in the middle of an ocean of bikes symbolizes the social norms that drive him out of who he is and turn him into who society wants him to be like. We are lost. Lost in the cruel reality that makes us emotionless. Be yourself. Your imperfections are what make you unique. 

Photo two: Betrayed By a Pair of Pensive Eyes 

In the midst of a gloomy morning, twelve-year-old me sat at the only open restaurant that opened at five in the morning. It was no fancy restaurant. A small, simple room that wore a dusty cloak. 

My father spoke. “What do you think makes me more successful than him?”  nodding towards the restaurant owner.

My tiny brain drifted as the silence extended.

“Because you work harder than him?” I squeezed the six words out of my mouth, eyes drowning in desperation.

“But look at him, he is running a restaurant at five in the morning. Most people, including you and I should still be asleep now.”

“It is because I set my goals higher than his.” My father continued after a pause. “His goal was to open a small restaurant, while mine was to build a company.”

I sat in silence for the rest of the meal. 

*      *      *

When I visited the Hutongs again during the trip, I thought of what my father told me. I am shrouded with small stands selling different desserts, drinks, and simple food. Every one of them wakes up early every day, standing in front of their stands, screaming their hearts out to beg for a sale. They are working hard. But why doesn’t the world reward them with a better life? 

*      *      *

Although she is wearing a mask, her expression is betrayed by her two eyes. Flooded by guilt and regret, she pointed her eyes to the left, almost like seeing through to an alternative universe, seeing the life she could have had and the potential she could have reached if she had set her goals higher. Was it the lack of education, the lack of wealth, or the endless torture of sickness that lured her into the role of a stand owner that prevented her from reaching her goal? 

Photo three: What Are You So Afraid of?

When I took the photo, I instantly thought of my father. As a child, I was always taught that smoking is “bad.” I would judge my father for smoking all the time. Even to this date, I subconsciously hold my breath when I see someone smoking. As I grew into a teenager, the school courses would flood me with the idea that smoking is “bad”, disgraceful, and unhealthy. Everything is pointing their fingers at smoking. 

So I pondered. Why do people smoke when they know it is bad for the body?

Escapism is the answer I concluded with. Maybe life is more than just legos and fun. There is an overwhelming amount of pressure to be rich, to do “good” at work, at school, to build a family, to be a “good” human being, and the social norms that confine people to exploring substance use. All of this unspeakable emotion condensed into one tiny body. For my father and countless others like him, smoking is taking a break from reality. Maybe smoking is not all so “bad” anymore. But who gets to define good and bad? 

So, what is the gentleman in the frame escaping from? 

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s organized chaos” – Bruce Gilden

Bruce Gilden is known for street photography, distinguished by his unique sense of aesthetics, capturing raw and unfiltered moments of people in urban environments, often being unsettling to the eyes. Gilden works in black and white which helps develop stories in his photos.

Photo Analysis

Without color, black and white can better emphasize the focus of the subject instead of colors. In this photo, black and white highlights the two men laughing on the side of a car. The main subjects of the photo are the two men. A black and white filter points the viewer’s attention to the two men instantly as they have unique body shapes, textures and patterns on their clothes. It eliminates possible distractions that drive the viewer’s attention away from the two men (the main subject) and the story in the photo. In contrast, if this photo is colored, the viewer’s attention will bounce around as there are too many colors.

The title of my set of photos will be called “Lost in the Cruel Reality”

I will use a black and white filter and the contrast between the subject and the environment to highlight the emotions in my photos. By using black to offset white, I want my viewers to appreciate the simplicity around us. Not every photo needs a spark of colors. Sometimes, black and white images can express more emotion than colors can. Sometimes, less is more.